Next week the holiday season officially gets under way. Many of us will be spending time with family that we haven’t seen in a while, or at least haven’t spent this much time with lately. It’s a good time to take notes and start some conversations.
How is Grandma’s famous pumpkin pie this year – did she substitute salt for sugar? If you are going for a drive with Dad and he’s the driver – are you nervous? Is he forgetting how to get to the places he frequents?
Take a look at the pill bottles – is Mom remembering to take her pills at the right time? Do you notice unpaid bills on the counter? As you take your annual Thanksgiving walk with Grandpa, is it harder for him to walk than it was last year? Are you nervous he might fall?
If you are sleeping over at your parents’ house – do you notice that they are getting up for trips to the bathroom overnight? Do you worry that they might fall at night home alone?
Most of us muddle through elder care because we assume it’s something we should be able to figure out for ourselves. But the fact is, it doesn’t have to be a struggle. There is a world of resources, right here on the South Shore, devoted to helping seniors live better for longer. The caregiver’s job is to find someone who can help her understand and navigate those resources.
Geriatric care managers can help a family assess safety at home, visit day programs, and even set up a schedule of home health aides. Alzheimer’s coaches teach the family to connect with and help a person with dementia. Professional organizers help downsize for a move. An elder law attorney can make sure your estate plan is up to date so that it will do what you want it to do. She will also help you stretch your resources so that you can stay at home for as long as possible while your health care needs increase.
It’s the perfect time of year to take stock of the changing tides and to lay a plan for future care. If you are an elder, talk to your kids about where you would like to live as you eventually need more help. If you are a caregiver, talk to your parents about bringing in more aid.
Too many people don’t plan ahead and then the inevitable crisis occurs and the decisions are made for you – a senior falls and breaks a hip, has surgery and goes to rehab, complications develop and he is never able to return home.
Instead, don’t wait for the new year to make your resolutions. Take time this week to start those conversations, think about what kind of help your family needs, and reach out to one of the many elder care professionals we have on the South Shore.