So you finally convinced your parent or spouse to let you call your local ASAP – around here, that’s South Shore Elder Services or Old Colony Elderly Services. You have a date for the nurse to come meet your spouse or parent. What do you do next?
First, make a list of everything you want to discuss with the nurse. That means all your loved one’s medical issues, medications, medical history, along with all the things you think she has trouble with and needs help doing. Ask other people to help you put together this list so that you don’t forget anything.
On the day of the visit, make sure that the primary caregiver is at the home. That may be you, it may be another family member, it may be a home health aide. Whomever can give truthful reporting as to the elder’s abilities and needs should be at this screening. As most of us decline, whether physically or mentally or both, we become very good at downplaying our shortfalls. No one wants to admit that they need help, especially not with the basics of life, like climbing stairs and getting dressed. Elders tend to be embarrassed that they can no longer do these basic things alone and will tell the nurse that they are more able than they in fact are. The caregiver needs to make sure that the screening nurse gets a full picture of the elder’s needs.
Remember that your job is to make sure the nurse has as accurate a picture as you can give her of the elder’s abilities and needs. Only then can she design a plan that will bring in as many services as possible to fit your loved one’s needs.